Lost your burlesque mojo? Some advice on getting it back!
In many ways I actually hate the term 'confidence'. Because really you can be a great performer and not always be that confident. But you must be resilient to lots of external obstacles that often are out of your control. Here is some tough, but practical advice to getting out of a funk or getting that mojo back.
Disclaimer: This is, of course, not a substitute for proper health advice. If you really are anxious, depressed or having more serious problems have a check in with your GP. There's also Beyond Blue and Black Dog in Australia that are really helpful.
Tough love time: Take some ownership
Take some ownership of your behavior. What are you willing to do to take ownership of your problems? Complaining that you don't feel confident isn't going to get you anywhere. You need to identify your issues and set some steps to solve them. This is said with a lot of love - and recognition that this is hard. But you wouldn’t go the gym for one session and expect to lose 10 kilos. You can’t equally do one burlesque class and be instantly more confident. But if you can address each problem you have bit by bit you will get there. You also will get there if you prioritise yourself and want to make change.
Not being confident all the time is okay.
Remember having a critical mindset is okay. Not being 100% confident all the time is important, because it stops you engaging in completely crazy risk taking behaviour. It's about managing the balance. Some self doubt and reflection is fine, It’s only when it consistently becomes a problem or stops you from doing things that you want to do.
Identify your problem and 'name it up'
Saying that you have doubts or lack confidence is a generic statement. If you want to solve your issue, you need to work out what specifically is scaring you. Is it a physical obstacle? About technical skill? Or is it worrying about what people think about you? Once you have figured that out you can solve it. You aren't getting yourself into a cycle of crazy scary thoughts. You are just saying, "I'm really scared about what someone will say about me". A reasonable fear to be sure. But by naming it up, you can then work on solving it.
Accept what you can't change
It’s hard to accept stuff you don’t control. One of the things I hear constantly from new performers and students that stands in their way is a fear of what the audience will think about them. You have basically zero control over that. So it's pointless circling through that in your mind. Accepting the things that are outside of your control is the first step in building your confidence, and stopping that cycle of talking negative shit about yourself.
Change up your self talk
Remember that we wouldn't let our friends talk the same amount of smack that we talk about ourselves. It's not helping you to constantly talk shit about yourself. It's not getting you to the goal of being a better performer. It's normal, sure. But not helpful. Make a commitment to changing it up. You might need some strategies to address this. It could be a mindfulness app, proper counselling or therapy, or having a walk or chat with a friend. But commit to changing your cycle of negative self talk.
Set realistic goals
If you are worried about your abilities or your competence as a performer, you can totally solve that problem! But equally, if you haven't performed for a while or you are a newer performer, it's really unlikely you are going to be Dita Von Teese overnight. That's not a realistic expectation. So set yourself a standard that you can meet to be a good performer at the level you are at now. And then set some goals for how you are going to get there. This might be:
20 hours of rehearsal time per month
Spending $200 on my costume
Spending 2 hours on technical advice (e.g. a workshop, dance class)
Seeking some mentoring
Doing 3 dress rehearsals
If you set some key goals that are realistic you can meet these. And then you'll feel really good about getting to those goals.
All of these tips really help me in changing up my attitude when I'm feeling really shit about myself. They aren't rocket science. But it makes the fear conquerable. You do need to give yourself that 'tough love' in wanting to solve your problems - rather than wallowing in your problems. But you can totally get there.
Let me know if this helps! Or pop in the comments below if you have some other great tips about how you get your 'mojo' back.