Burlesque, body image and weight loss
A trigger warning here because this post will be referring to issues on body image, weight loss and disordered eating. Please skip through if this would be upsetting to you or adversely affect your recovery on any of these issues.
I recently was interviewed on ABC Radio on my experience with weight loss, and how it has impacted my pereception of self and on my career in burlesque.
Listen to my interview (about 10 minutes) here
I think that, despite trying to be prepared, there are a couple of things I could have expressed better or more deeply conveyed.
Health and weight on the scales are not inextricably linked. I am not a doctor, so I cannot comment on anyone’s unique circumstances. I discussed a couple of health issues that I had at a heavier weight, around blood pressure and generally someone experiencing a lot of stress and anxiety. But I would also add that I took exercise regularly, and wouldn’t have been someone eating or drinking abnormally. My take home? Don’t link health and weight. There are some really good articles further on this about the discrimination people of a larger build face every day from medical professionals who dismiss legitimate health complaints as a matter of just losing weight. Or the old ‘self control’ rubbish. Please read Fattily Ever After if you want a great rea on a range of these issues (in a great, conversational, can’t put the book down way!)
I would not judge or assume anything about your health and well-being based on your size, Again this is something so personal. You cannot assume that body size is any indication of wellness or fitness.,
My biggest lesson is that chasing perfection - be it a perfect job, relationship, wardrobe, or number on the scales - will just crush you. Enjoy your life as it is. Work through those challenging moments. Most importantly focus on things that bring you joy. I have replaced my weight as a way of constantly needing to ‘fix’ something. It became something obsessive. The idea that everything would be great when….. It’s easy to assume that weight loss (or that perfect ideal you have in your mind) will make everything better. But our brains just move the goal posts on us each time. This is my ‘hungry ghost’ analogy.
I think women particularly are judged firstly, and primarily on their looks and continue to be. That’s not to say we aren’t and cannot be recognised for other things .But it is so much of our worth that is judged by ourselves and by others on the external.
My effort is to try to be more kind and mindful to myself and others. I always say ‘be your own best friend’. You don’t judge a friend on their looks. You don’t measure their worth in your life on this. So don’t do it to yourself. You deserve love and happiness at any size. Life isn’t a ‘before and after’ photo.
I think I’d like to follow this up on some tips or starting a discussion on how we can compliment and acknowledge each other in a more positive, less weight judgemental way. Replacing that accepted mantra of ‘you look so good now you have lost weight’. My brain is a bit friend, but I think it’s something worth more discussion.
What do you think? Have you experienced those challenges after weight loss? Is it something that resonated with you?